Some battles chose me

Some battles chose me

Swirling in fluid, dreaming an unseen dream
Tiny limbs and features, with a naughty gleam
Eyes opening and closing, dark all around
That's how it looked, my soul on being found......

Then came the birth, slow, steady and long drawn
A blissful night ended, and came a reluctant dawn
Being born as I was, was not a happy thing, I see
I chose some battles, but most battles chose me........

Trotting on my feet, not a care, no worry
I walked out in the open, but was taught to scurry
Being a boy was a privilege, a girl wasn't to be
I chose some battles, but most battles chose me......

Dolls walked in as gifts, after dark strolls off bounds
"You're a girl", I heard, world is full of hounds
Rebelling just reaffirmed, what Mom had told me
I chose some battles, but most battles chose me...........

Being in a bus was a battle, and so was being in a train
Being at work was a battle, so was being in rain
Groping hands all over, eyes that mentally stripped me
I chose some battles, but most battles chose me........

Working extra hours unwelcome, laughing out loud too
Dignity, grace and poise ok, being carefree a taboo
Moment after moment, just learning not to be me
I chose some battles, but most battles chose me........

Then comes one day, a snapping point of some sort
When I see two paths, Do or Die, in short...
I choose to do, to be who I want to be
I chose this battle, although many had chosen me.......

Tongues wag and people tut, but this life in mine
Being alive, to live and love, is nothing but divine
No one takes this right to live, away from me
I chose this battle, although many had chosen me........

Bus journeys are not battles, as I swing the shoe when I must
I am not the one out of control, it's that guy's lust
It's HIS battle to fight, and to win, to keep his hands off me......
I refuse more battles, simply thrust upon me........

Heads and a lot of Tales - A Mompreneur's world

Hello All,

This post can be treated with a bucket of salt.......or with oodles of criticism but I so needed to write this down that it has ceased to matter what I hear after I write! I guess, I am getting into Aunty Acid mode now ;)

So, rolling back to what I was saying.......

Being a Mom comes with its set of responsibilities. Being an entrepreneur comes with its own set. Cross the two and we have something at hand! Let me just start with how a typical day in life is:

Wake up at 6 (sometimes at 2, 3 or 4 am), work till 8, make breakfast, feed toddler, bathe him (amid cries that wake the dead), get him ready to go to school (he hates the uniform and then follow the golden words I am going to be hearing for a long time to come: I don't like you Mumma), then  somehow squeeze in making lunch (and snack) for his tiffin, drop him to school (once again, amid cries that make me sound like I am the modern Hitler parent!) .......and time to work. Manage whatever work you can until something "more important" pops up - like the plumber, geyser repair guy, computer fixing guy shows up, or you need to go to send courier, buy crafts supplies, or meet X, Y or Z, e-mail the clients, reply to queries, discuss customization.............and voila, before you know it, it's time to pick the toddler up! Go to school, pick him up, feed him again, teach him cycling, run and play with him, manage cooking the missing parts of dinner, feed him dinner, eat your dinner (with 3-4 interruptions as the toddler would go toppling chairs, or will need to pee, or try to poke you in the eye with a toothpick!), and when husband arrives, get to work till you feel like you're dropping dead!

Repeat the next day!

And mind you, I am not complaining. Just outlining for my own sanity's sake.

In the middle of all of this, sometimes I stop and ask myself, why can't I give up on work, or work less, or work differently? After all, I see a lot of women around me having done that, namely, given up work for family's sake.

For starters, I LOVE WORKING. It is as simple as that. Motherhood or not, I would've worked. Managing a house, cooking meals, keeping the remotest corners of the house sparkling clean and waiting on my family forever was NEVER what I wanted to do. Throw in a husband who has forever viewed my dreams like his own and work gains even more importance.

Yet another thing that has kept me fuelled and still does is striving to create benchmarks. Too many people are busy existing and I sure am not about to join the bandwagon. I love to live! And live it to the fullest. The mere fact that my body is alive when morning arrives is testimony that a miracle has happened. I've been granted some more time and I am not about to lose it. And definitely not to the negativity of wondering if I gain someone's approval. Sure I am not the best cook, wife or mother, but the question is, who wants to be? I certainly don't.

I don't eye any trophies no one is about to give to me!

So, life goes on, just how I like it, madly busy but oddly satisfying..........

There are pleasant breaks, like a steaming cup of coffee (strong and sweet, just how I like it) made by husband, yummy Spanish omelettes, late night Coffee Day/Corner House visits, long drives.......and THAT is what makes an Mom entrepreneur's life worth it all. Someone has said, you won't know the value of water until you've been so thirsty that you felt like your throat is cracking up. I don't think I need to..............I've too many blessings to be worried about energy sappers.....An occasional hug and a heartfelt thanks from my son is reward enough for me to tell me I am hanging in in there. A husband who can talk for hours with me and I can return that favour is what makes marriage worth it all.

So amid the whirlwind of life, love and work, I've made a conscious choice. To be ME. To be that pajama clad, PhD holder, enthusiastic cook and passionate crafter me.............unapologetically ME

It's not about the sun, it's about the sweat

It's about what you build
Not at all about what you get
It's not about the sun, girl
It's all about the sweat
***
It's not about what you follow
But the examples you set
It's not about the sun, lady
It's all about the sweat
***
It's not about the fair skin
So, don't you at all fret
It's not about the sun, sweetie
It's all about the sweat
***
It's not about the silks on you
Or the shoes or hair, I bet
It's not about the sun, honey
It's all about the sweat
***
It's about your grey cells
Not about a pretty face yet
It's not about the sun, dearie
It's all about the sweat
***
Tomorrow won't remember you
For how you looked, my pet
It'll remember you not for the sun
But for all the sweat
***
Don't let them tell you ever
Or judge or issue a threat
For you are not a girl of sun
But a girl of grit, and of sweat
***
Dark or fair, thin or fat,
Well dressed or not, don't fret
Whenever the sun is out
Just go ahead and sweat......
*******

These will be my words for my daughter, whenever I have one! Life is not about shying away from the sun, but for sweating in it and building her life the way she wants it! To Hell with all those who tell her that her beauty is her identity!

I want to be a billionaire

I want to be a billionaire
Collecting it all, as I procced
Billions of talents & skills
Each one leading to a good deed

I want to be a billionaire
Seeking billions of eyes
Glued to what my hands create
With every one of it, expectations rise

I want to be a billionaire
Looking for faces that smile
Billions who learn what I teach
Teaching others all the while

I want to be a billionaire
Of not notes and many a coin
But of smiles, joys and sharing
And of everything helping our hearts join......

Fading into Oblivion

The dust of my star sparkles
Death is imminent but who will kill me?
My ambers are fading away
But who will douse the fire in me?

My ambers have kindled many a fire
Lighting up the cosmos with a golden glow
My star has burnt bright for long
Guiding many a walkers through grass, rain and snow

All around me remains as it was
Merry and bountiful and splendid
But my star and my ambers are dying
Unnoticed, unguarded, untended.....

As weeds grow under my feet
I look up at the sky and see
My star fading into oblivion
My ambers lying among the ashes peacefully

A star is a star indeed
Till it glitters and shines
And one day each star fades too
But while fading, it whines

I wish the world was fairer
And a star could die in grace
And not fade into an oblivion
A black, dark, lonely place..............

Cock Eyed Stallion

A lone gunshot, and a million cheers
Springing forward, with all my might
Leaving them behind, all my peers
Gliding effortlessly, like an eagle's flight

The end line nears, I sprint harder
Cheers go deafening, colours so bright
Crying themselves hoarse, voices louder
End line welcomes, full of delight

My rider dismounts, hands in the air
Poses for shutterbugs, trophy in hands
I trot along, slowly, deliberately,
Alongside me, my proud rider stands

The day sets, and another comes
Out come the papers, a coverage too
My rider picks it, and glances at it
I see something flicker, an emotion anew

If I didn't know him, I wouldn't know
The shadow that passed, a tiny bit of it
A hint of embarrassment, of shame, I guess
He looked at me funnily, I have to admit

I saw something die, something fade
It almost seemed like a wall was built
The rider smiled, making up to me
To hide what I'd seen, to cover the guilt

I snorted, and stamped around
He too knew that I had guessed,
The passing shadow, the flickering
Having no choice, he confessed

"I look so good, holding that cup
And you did pretty well, in the race
But look at those cock-eyes,
At your funny, lopsided face"

A knife sliced through me, and that hurt
Race was forgotten, but not the face
Cock eyes got noticed, not the hooves
That ran with vigour, at breakneck pace

I wondered deep inside, if it was true
Humans just like to ignore what's good
What matters not the mind or soul
But only the face covered by a hood..................

- Pritesh

(PS: Image courtesy - https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho-0It7OLNLpK3UgCy7qITMXDbBo3NPNdswil2QBVmbZRuvhwCZSuKdVop4Zq7aXu_AhQaP3VtwOESxdveHQ33VaC6CW8T4_Ah8hArUyHuG83kang601Ke9IASXoM-RiX4H5YSfO5wdnUj/s1600/Quarter+Horse+at+a+Gallop-IMG_1454.jpg)

"I" talks to "Me"

From the mirror, the 'I' said,
Stay there and get beautiful eyes
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
I'd rather have eyes that can 'see' beauty

The 'I' said, your hands look bad
Want some hand cream, make them pretty
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
I'd rather create pretty things with these hands

Exasperated, 'I' said, your skin
Could do with some touch up to make you glow
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
I'd rather let a smile make my face glow

The 'I' tried yet again, take this perfume
Spray it and look like you're fresh off the garden
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
I'd rather walk in the garden to smell like I've been there

At the edge of its patience, the 'I' said
Here is kohl, mascara, eye liner, define your eyes
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
I'll let a naughty twinkle define my eyes

'I' attempted once more, look at your lips
They lack colour, here, take the lipstick
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
I'd rather that a genuine smile adorns my lips

A last ditch try, the 'I' said
If you're pretty and lady like, he will pay you compliments
And 'Me' replied, no thank you
He already sees me for who I am, not how I look

And then, my eyes opened,
Clarity flooded, sunlight streaming in
What a dream, oh what a realization
Prettiness gave in to beauty, let my day begin

With valuing me, for who I am
And what I can do with what I have
Brightening my inner glow, shining
With radiance of my inner beauty............

(Deliberately left unedited)